after the party

my semester comes to a close
and i mark a few endings at once.
in cold days my friends came to me,
i shared warm heartfelt days with them.

i sulked in my bed after the party
when i learned you would be leaving soon.
months of thinking of you, cities away,
three short days had come and gone.

i sulked in my bed and you came in
put your arm over me and i pulled in close
my head on your chest, hand on my face
you gave comfort to sad and sleepy me

in these short dark hours of the evening
brief and fleeting moments like winter sun
i cherish them until your alarm goes off.
but i know that i will see you again.

you are my friend and i miss you dearly.
come back to me and hold me like you did.

my pre-ordained place

september marked the conclusion of a hectic and eye-opening summer.

it was strange the way i met my new toronto friend, but she's been an indispensable anchor for me.

i'm grateful to the mountain goats for providing a soundtrack to it all.

i keep bumping into this girl and never saying anything. i just smile and walk away.

i am happy it ended the way it did; i am content to hold on to my memories.

maybe we'll be friends one day or maybe not, right now it doesn't matter.

i share an office hour with two other teaching assistants in my department.

it's really refreshing to have friends on campus i get to see regularly.

two months in, this has been the best semester yet, and i'm where i'm supposed to be.

a letter to a friend

friend,

your presence has been kind to me this year, with a good number of visits by each of us. it is the highlight of my week or my weekend. 

truly, i cherish the moments we spend together. this is an acknowledgment, but it is not a request for anything. 

i have always admired you. since we met, i have seen each of us grow immensely, and i have so much respect for the person you have become. i am better for knowing you and i thank you for the time that you give me.

yours,

H.L.

dark summer night

the touch of your hand on my collar bones one summer night

it feels so good and so natural and so safe to be with you. 

music comes up to give young love a background score

as the lights go dim, and then red and shades of violet.

when i put my necklace on you, you give me the sweetest look.

i want you to stay tonight, even though i know you can't.

victoria day in toronto

unideal circumstances brought me there, but i thought to make the best of it.

we met up in the cool of the evening and explored your neighbourhood.

it was victoria day, and together we walked through cazsimir gzowski park.

i'd have spent all night on the boardwalk with you, watching the fireworks.

untitled, pt. 1

i've bought a bunch of shirts that don't fit me
and a pair of wingtips with a busted heel
i disassemble old televisions on my days off
and i feel the cool summer breeze on my skin

you face me with your back to sherbrooke st
my sweater is itchy and has holes in its seam
today i write everything down meticulously
sheets of paper scattered around the apartment

i learn to like my job as a stenographer
and i make notes to myself every day
i listen to the voices on the breeze this winter
and i hear what they have to say to me

note to self:

being kind pays off after all