how i know you were my favorite person

it’s a peculiar thing.

to’ve pined over someone, to’ve had them consistently at the center of all of your hopes and desires for as long as i did, and then to give them up. to recognize, though it was your love which was unrequited for so long—not theirs—that you no longer had that same love.

i don’t know what it was that they must have represented to me that i would feel perfectly reasonable in walking away from what we had once i’d gotten it. this way of thinking, though, presupposes that they were somehow symbolic to me, that i didn’t take them at face value. and i don’t think that’s the case.

they made me feel wanted and even appreciated at times, and they did many nice things for me. misty rose and powdered sugar. i gave them my time because i liked them and wanted to see them. then i didn’t.

it’s weird to think about the change that happened, because it wasn’t clear cut; it wasn’t a shift that took place all at once. 

but that’s over now. (get over it.)